Have you ever met someone who listens really well? Someone who ‘gets you’ and hears you? Unfortunately, this not always the case.
Quite often we find ourselves walking away from a conversation feeling unheard and unimportant. Unfortunately, we can’t force others to be a good listener; However, using the following tools can help you master the art of listening:
- Be Attentive. When talking with friends and family, make an effort to face them, make eye contact and focus on what they are saying. Give the speaker your undivided attention, and acknowledge the message.
- Use Body Language. Use your own body language and gestures to convey that you are listening.Nod occasionally. Smile and use other facial expressions. Note your posture and make sure it is open and inviting. Encourage the speaker to continue with small verbal comments like “Yes” and “Aha.
- Don’t Interrupt. Interrupting the speaker can be perceived as disinterest or disregard for the other person. Slow down and give space for the other person to express themselves. Allowing the other person to speak will make it easier for you to understand their message.
- Provide Feedback but Don’t Judge. Be aware of your emotional reaction to what is being said. Use deep breathing to help you stay calm.
- Acknowledge their thoughts. Before introducing your own ideas or opinions, reflect what has been said by paraphrasing. “What I’m hearing is” and “Sounds like you are saying” to provide feedback. Ask questions to clarify certain points. “What do you mean when you say?” and “Is this what you mean?” Summarize the speaker’s comments periodically.
If you struggle to with good listening habits, you’ve come to the right place. Contact me today to schedule a therapy session.
Resources:
https://www.mindful.org/tuning-in/
https://www.wikihow.life/Improve-Your-Listening-Skills